Manifesto
Our aim is to Spread the Love of Marmite, first across this country and then across the world.
Every man, woman and child in the world is a Marmite lover. They just may not know it yet. Many are ignorant of Marmite’s many qualities, like how good it tastes and how it’s full of B vitamins. Many believe instead the vicious lies told about it by the Hate Party. The first priority therefore of the Love Party is one of education. Once the wonderful truth about Marmite is known throughout the world, there will be no more fear or hatred. Only love.
Party pledges
1. To accord ministerial powers to everyday Marmite lovers so they can help spread the message.
2. To develop new ways for Marmite to help tackle society’s issues.
3. To set up anger management courses for Marmite haters.
4. To criminalise all acts of face-pulling towards the Marmite-loving community.
5. Upon victory, to build a Marmite shrine for lovers across the world to congregate and worship.
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About this blog
I'm Political Editor John Sluritt, and I'll be bringing you up-to-date coverage of all the latest developments in this fierce election battle.
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The Love Party HQ
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The Hate Party HQ
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4 comments:
What are your policies on Marmite and sustainability?
Is it true that Marmite is a replacement for oil? And we will be ending our dependency on the foul blackstuff by using the foul brownstuff?
Blerch....can't stand the thought of using Marmite instead of gasoline! What happens if I need to syphon some? I couldn't stomach the taste of Marmite. I'll be voting for the Hate party!
I think Marmite is delicious!
And I'd definitely love to vote for the Love Party, but unfortunately I can't because I'm a horse.
Typical of the Love Party, it should be obvious to everyone with two braincells to rub together that these are not the sort of people we want in charge. These people are worse than Hitler, at least Hitler had some good policies despite most of them being bad.
If it's a choice between them and the Hate Party, I'll vote for Heaving.
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